How would you like me to respond to a link or video or even a comment that I do not agree with?  Should I continue to follow my Father’s advice (from childhood) and keep quiet if I have nothing nice to say?  Do you want me to tell you how I really feel?  Most of my followers are friends, people I either talk to regularly or occassionally that have had some sort of impact in my life.  A few I have never met.  Do the rules apply to both groups or should I share my honest opinions with those I personally know and keep quiet with those I don’t?

With topics such as religion, politics, and other issues being posted there are obviously going to be differences in opinions.  When you post such things are you looking for confirmation of your opinions or do you really want to open the topic for discussion?  I’ve stayed away from commenting when I don’t agree and, at least in my little facebook world, others seem to do the same.  All controversial postings seem to have a couple (or a lot depending on topic)” Amens” and “I’m with you’s” but opposing sides are not seen.  What is the goal? 

I know that some with opposing views have discontinued FB friendships so that the postings won’t have to be seen.  I truly believe that this is not the intention of the poster.  It’s cool to have an opinion and FB is a way to share those opinions with others, but sometimes it’s hard not to respond in an opposing fashion (at least for me) and yet I would neverwant to offend you.  We are all entitled to our opinions.  I just want to know what you, my friends, expect.  Please tell me.  Should I respond when I disagree or can I continue to be silent, there by letting you know I disagree?

Your FB Friend

On this very special day (your 40th birthday) I wanted to take some time to reflect on our friendship and tell you how very special you are to me.

We met in 1981 (or 82 depending on the time of year) at cheer-leading tryouts.  I was in the 8th grade and you were in 7th.  Just saying that makes me feel a little old.  I believe you needed a flyer for your tryout and I agreed to assist.  We both made the squad and have been friends ever since (almost).  We spent our youth pushing the limits of “good girls”.  We never went out of our way to get into trouble, but surely pushed the envelope a little.  Like the time you insisted on going into The Small Planet because we knew my dad was in there and you thought we should say hi.  We never made it past the bar.  Two gentleman my father’s age insisted on buying us drinks, who were we to say no?   My dad came over and asked what we were drinking and tried to tell the men that I was his 17 year old daughter, but I insisted it wasn’t true and the men believed me (because they wanted to).  Dad had a pretty good sense of humor so we didn’t get in trouble…but we probably should have.

I’m sure we’ll never forget drinking tequila (stolen from Dad’s liquor cabinet) with diet Rock’n Rye.  We keep saying we’re going to do that again, but we never do.  Maybe we’re getting smarter!  We spent many nights up chatting about everything and I never felt like there was anything I couldn’t tell you.  I remember the fight you got into with your mom and then you moved in with us until…you had to scrub the kitchen floor after dropping your waffle on it.  Yep, bucket and scrub brush had you racing to get home.  Do you think the parents anticipated that?

I remember all the fun times we had after I moved in (both times) with you guys.  This was a more permanent arrangement and I’m sure my dad felt better knowing that 1) I moved a couple blocks away and 2) there was an adult monitoring our (my) comings and goings.  I guess since I was there most the time anyway, it made sense to move in and pay rent.

I’ll always remember sharing first loves and heartache and a hermaphrodite snowman. 

 We had a slight (10 year) fall out but once reconnected fell right back into stride.  I look forward to our yearly visits and am excited to have our first Mommy & Me trip with the girls.  I hope you know that you are like a sister to me and I treasure all our time spent together and hope it continues through the ages and the girls can become friends as well.  What a great friendship to pass along.

Thanks for being a great friend even if sometimes I didn’t deserve it.

R~

In just a couple of days Puddin Pop and I will be taking up residence at your home for a weekend of fun with my best Girlfriends from Junior High and High School (and a friend I’ve known since Grade School).  We look forward to spending time with you and appreciate you opening your home to the both of us and to Cassandra who will be coming in from Chicago.  I’m looking forward to a fun weekend.

I must warn you.  

I know you both have little tolerance for misbehaved children so I encourage you to take the next few days to put away any valuable items you do not want broken.  While I do not predict that Puddin Pop will do intentional harm to these items, you have a LOT of very pretty things to spark her interest.  She knows “to be careful” and what that means, but a stern “No” once she is already holding said items may result in a response of her throwing it to the floor.  It’s just the way it is.  I’ll do my best to keep her away from any items left out.

She is also just showing signs of entering the 3 year old phase and has the temper and tantrums that go along with that.  Fortunately she is usually pretty good around strangers and since she hasn’t seen you in over a year, I’m hoping she thinks of you as strangers and is on her best behavior.  Don’t make her your friend and it will all be good.  If you show her too much love, she will manipulate the heck out of you and scream until you do exactly as she chooses.  You’ve been warned.

I do not want to hear how I allow her to be the boss.  We went through this with her brother.  I know your feelings and I hope you can appreciate the way I’ve chosen to raise MY kids and keep your opinions to yourself.  Nothing you can say will make me less tolerant of the stages children go through.  It’s my job to raise them into confident adults and while I may give them more choices and chances than you think I should, It’s up to Me and I take my job seriously.

We look forward to visiting.  Hope nothing gets broke. Hope you put the breakables away.

Love,

Your Daughter

Congrats on the birth of your octuplets.  Congrats also to their 6 siblings.  I know you must be overwhelmed with all the publicity you are receiving, but did you think you could avoid it?  Was there ever any doubt in your mind that the world would want to understand what you and your doctor were thinking when you were implanted with 6 embryos (according to you) and already had 6 children from previous treatments?  I’m not judging you, your doctor maybe, but I would just like to know what the thought process is here.  Are you trying to keep up with the Duggars?  Envying Jon and Kate?  You do realize Kate has Jon and a slew of other people to help, right?  Or is that your motive?  To have enough babies to solicit help and a possible TV show of your own? 

Personally, I can barely keep up with my own 2 children and do not understand how parents with large families (5 kids or more) have the energy, patience, and sanity to do it all.  I also have to wonder about your current living arrangements.  You previously made this statement:

“I didn’t feel as though, when I was a child, I had much control of my environment. I felt powerless. And that gave me a sense of predictability. Reflecting back on my childhood, I know it wasn’t functional. It was pretty dysfunctional, “

If that statement is true, why are you living and getting help and support from those very people who made you feel this way?  Is that in the best interest of YOUR children?  I further have to question your need to inform the donor of his 14 children.  Is this common practice at the clinic you go to, or is this an isolated instance where you, or your doctor thought he should be informed?  And what would you like him to do now?

Those are just a few of the questions I have right now.  I’m sure as more information becomes available I’ll have more.

Congratulations. Enjoy your babies.  Try to keep your sanity.

Mommy to 2

aka: 2isenough

In honor of Top Dropper Day, I would like to feature those blogs who visit me on a regular basis.  Whether it’s because you like what I write, because I drop on you, or because my page loads fast, who the heck cares, you came, some of you left comments, and I appreciate each and every one of you (especially those who left comments).  While I am honored to recognize my top droppers, I will soon be checking into that top commenter widget so many of you have and getting that on here soon.  I have other blogs that have a lot of posts and some comments, this blog actually has more comments than it does posts.  Exciting as that is, I’ll be working on more posts so you can leave even more comments.  Someday, maybe I can be as famous as Kathy over at The Junk Drawer. 

With appreciation and bloggy love, here are my top Droppers for January.

Visit them all and make sure to continue visiting me.  I’m striving to get readers like my top dropper.  Thanks Kathy for visiting every day and for being an inspiration to us all.

Me

I appreciate your understanding during our recent conversations and regret having to share my stress level with each of you.  It’s a predicament I put myself in a long time ago, but thought that as adults things would be different.  They’re not.

I was originally excited about my upcoming visit, but then some of you totally stressed me out with your decisions not to be around each other.  I have limited time and want to see you all, as well as spend time with my parents, and the fact that some of you would rather NOT be in the same room with others left me feeling like I had to choose who to invite to our dinner party.  I do not want to be in the middle and NOT invite anyone.  I also would not like to explain to each of you that someone else does not want to be around you, or that you don’t want to be around someone (and it’s not even the same person who doesn’t want to be around you).  I’ve spoken with each of you involved and feel better in doing so.  I’ve decided to invite you all, let you know who else is invited, and let YOU make the decision on wether or not you can attend.

I hope everyone will come.  It will be a wonderful time.  Great Food and Wine.  A group of High School Buddies now all MOMS.  Surely we can use this common ground to all get along.

I love you All like Sisters.

Shelly

Yes.  I am the boss of you.

I know you were super tired tonight at bed time, and didn’t really mean what you said but, yes, I am the boss of you.

When you spoke those words, “You not the boss of me”, part of me wanted to laugh, part of me wanted to cry. I knew immediately that you had heard those words from your brother, who was probably saying them all day to his older, bossy friend, but I was still surprised.  Part of me was sad that, at two, you would be so upset with me and want to push me away.  Part of me was so proud that you were standing up for yourself, even if it was against me. 

I love you more than anything and only want the best for you.  It is my job to make sure you get everything you need…including sleep. My heart aches that you had to go to sleep so upset with me.  I’m sorry for telling you that you would need to make your own breakfast in the morning since you think you are the boss of you (even though this didn’t seem to phase you at all).  I will, of course, make your breakfast in the morning.  I will also do my best to make sure that you are provided with the skills and knowledge to someday actually be the boss of you.

For now it will be my job.  Not one I take lightly. 

Sweet dreams,

Mommy

Yes, I do appreciate your sudden understanding that I would like some help with the dishes.  What I do not appreciate is the constant fishing for some sort of compliment or pat on the back.  Must you every morning ask me “Wasn’t it nice to wake up and have no dishes in the sink?”  The dishes I awoke to every morning were yours from the night before after I did all the dinner dishes, so yes, it is nice that you are doing your own dishes.  I also do not need to be told every night about you “nighttime dish-washing routine.”  I got it.  You’re making an effort to do the dishes, even if we both know that you have ulterior motives (like giving me some relaxing time before bed so I won’t be “too tired”).

Last weekends comment about leaving the cheesy egg pan for you to clean was unwarranted. I did not make cheesy eggs for the kids just so you would have to clean the pan.  I never imagined you would clean the pan, and by the way, you didn’t.

It’s been a week and a half since you started regularly helping with the dishes, after 15 years of asking.  I’m learning to not be so obsessed with keeping the sink free of dirty dishes and have even left dinner dishes in the sink and gone to bed.  Who am I to mess with your “nighttime routine”? 

Now, when you feel confident that the dishes will remain in you routine, let me know, I’d love to add some laundry to your routine as well.

Love Ya,

S~

Thank You so much for getting the kids exactly what they asked for this Christmas.  I know times are lean.  They didn’t get as much stuff as in previous years, which is understandable, but they did get exactly what they told you they wanted when they visited you as Bass Pro Shop.

Boogie is elated with his Nintendo DS, the fact that it is red with the Mario M makes it all the cooler.  He carries it with him everywhere he goes and it has made car rides rather quiet which is never a bad thing.

Puddin Pop (and her brother) adore the Baby Alive potty training doll and feed it regularly, like 5 times a day.  She is very loved.  She eats and drinks, pees and poops, talks, sings and plays.  What 2 year old could resist that?

One tip, if I may…

When a 2 year old requests a doll that will urinate and poop, often missing the toilet and leaking through her diaper, please make sure that said child and her sibling will take care of the doll.  Make sure she is old enough to change a diaper, clean the potty and do more than feed it and walk away.  This makes Mommy feel like she has 3 kids.  I don’t, for a reason.  You may also want to package the doll with more than one spare diaper as the one she was wearing leaked all over my leg with the first feeding.  Two packets of food were plenty for me, but lasted the older children only minutes as they really had to see the difference between banana poop and pea poop. 

The baby is now sleeping and the children have been warned not to wake her until they are willing to change her diaper and clean out her potty.  I have 3 toilets to clean already and do not need a fourth.  I’m thinking she’ll be sleeping for quite some time.

Thanks again for everything,

Mommyto2

When you asked me yesterday to watch your kids, I gladly obliged.  You had a church potluck at 6:3o and wanted me to watch the boys for a “couple” hours.   You said the potluck usually lasted 2 hours.

Today you let me know that you would bring the boys by at 4:30, which seemed a little early to me, until you disclosed that the “party” was at your house.  I’m not mad, but I would have appreciated all the facts up front.  It is 2 days before Christmas, and my kids do usually go to bed at 8:00 (which you know) so I can’t help but feel a little taken advantage of.  In the future, if you need my assistance, please let me know your true intentions up front or…call someone else.

I hope you’re having a good time (It’s now 9:30) and hope you know that it is NOT okay for your kids to spend the night.  See you soon (hopefully).

Your friend,

Shelly