Dec 10 2008
Need Help with the Stupid Factor
Dear Jack Frost,
I really need your help. I came to live with this very nice family 5 years ago. They treat me well, and show me off to all their friends and neighbors every December. This family has 2 small children. The little one gives me a hug every time she passes by.
The problem is, these kids think I look just fine in their front yard. I sit here every year, on this itchy grass, and they don’t even realize that I look out of place. Could you please help me and them out. I would really prefer to sit on some nice pillowy snow this year. I’m getting tired of the itchy butt and these kids deserve some snow to play in.
Bottom line: I look stupid sitting in the grass and the only ones who get that is the Mom that lives here and me. So please, Mr. Frost, could we have a little snow this year?
Your Friend,
Frosty
How cute
Dear Frosty,
Everyone should be so lucky as to have problems like yours. A great place to live and the love of a family with 2 kids hugging you. Why can’t you feel grateful instead of silly?
If I decide to grant your request, be assured it is for the children, and not for you.
Jack
Dear Frosty,
I will gladly ship you some of my 6 inches of snow, of course as soon as I am able to get my car out of our driveway due to the ice that is making me go in circles instead of a straight line. Then of course I will need to see out the windshield as I drive 35 mph on the freeway in the whiteout blizzard, while some idiot passes me doing 75 only to end up in a ditch that I must now swerve to avoid.
Okay, perhaps I will just “wish” you some snow instead..
LOL